Miss you mama, thought about you a little too long tonight. I try not to. I usually end up in shambles if I do. I always told you I could never imagine a world without you, now you’re gone I still really can’t I try to just not think of it. I like to think that you’re somewhere else, having the time of your life. I miss you. I’d give up a whole lot to have you back here with us.

God I miss you. It’s still so unreal to me, it’s been 6 months and not a day goes by where I’m just baffled. I just didn’t know how it’d be without you. It’s a bit different. It comes in spurts for me, and I don’t cry much. I think I cried enough with you there comforting me. I think that’s why I don’t cry too much now, because you were there, comforting me. And you left me with that, comfort. I hope it’s beautiful where you are. I hope It’s not dark that’s my biggest fear for you. I ran into your friend at the park, she knew so much about us it was like she was my friend too. That’s how much you loved us. You shared us with the people who loved you. You follow us now, everywhere we go. I wish you were here physically, but you’re not. It’s strange. Strange thing being here one day and withering away the next. I miss your laugh. You were the one person who thought I was so funny. It’s weird not to update you on how everything is going with the kids, but I guess you are. You fill our house. With smells, with love. You’re here. You got your own little area, greeting me with that smile every time we walk through the door. On your birthday I tried to watch your video, just to hear your voice. It’s been a while. I got cut short from a call from Luke, which I took as I’m not quite ready to hear you just yet. I’m not ready to step into church, or to even praise anything just yet, even if I know you’d want me to. It’s just hard. I never thought I’d lose you. I love you and I miss you. #gwenstrong

We hope that you find this tribute to Gwen a place of comfort, support and inspiration for you to visit whenever you want or need to.

Everyone grieves in a way that is unique to them. If you need to speak to a bereavement expert please visit the GriefChat section at www.muchloved.com which is a completely free service where you can remain anonymous if you prefer.